I am going to take a few minutes and write about how much I love being a Mom:) I post blogs every once in a while to journal about our family and how much we love our little girl but I don't feel like it really tells enough. I feel that this would be a great time for me to write down some things about my experience in motherhood so that one day my children might get a chance to read about their childhoods and how much they are and have always been loved and needed in my life.
The only thing I have ever wanted in my life since I was 1 years old and knew what a baby was, was to grow up, find the love of my life, and become a Mom. I cannot believe that I have finally reached that goal and even more I can't believe that is far better than I ever imagined. Since Oakley was born I have not had a day with out smiles, laughs, joy, and a heart full of love. I have never once thought.. "man how do people do this? this is so hard!" or "how am I ever going to handle more?" I have only felt that I could seriously do it a million more times and I would if I was blessed that many times. It is worth every sleepless night, every fussy day, every poopy diaper, every teething month, every snotty nose, every puked on bed, every pound gained, every stretch mark, every EVERYTHING!
I have a hard time with worrying about what people think and I worry that people might not think that I am a good Mom, or that I should wait for years before having more, or that I should only have a couple kids cuz its "TOO HARD" and I have decided to try to stop worrying about things like that because people are going to think what they want and some people really feel that way and there is nothing I can do about it. I have come to realize that if my Heavenly Father (who knows me more than anyone on earth) blesses me with his children to raise, love and send back to him that he trusts me to be an amazing mother. Heavenly Father will not send me more than I can handle, and at a time I would not be able to care for them, and He will be right by my side as I raise them in His way. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out or why I would stress and worry so much about what people would think about Eric and I and are want for A LOT of kids because Heavenly Father is the only one that matters and he is the one that gets to decide when and how many of his children we are blessed to have.
I love being a Mom more than I ever thought possible. There is an instant indescribable love that comes for that child the second you find out that you are pregnant. Even if it is a surprise and you have a worry about health, or money or whatever else, there is a natural motherly instinct that kicks in right away that causes you to love and protect that child with all of your physical ability. I honestly don't know how a women goes throughout life with out experiencing this love. It makes me hurt to even think about going through life with out having children, whether it would be that I was able to birth them or adopt, I could not handle it.
I honestly cannot believe how blessed I am to have such a great husband and father for my children. I cannot believe that as a couple we are blessed with the ability to conceive and carry children and that Heavenly Father trusts us to raise, love and send his children back to him.
As a mother I am scared in many ways. I am scared that I will do something wrong, that I will lose my patience, that I will not know how to help them, that my children will stray, that I am not capable of teaching them enough, that I do not have enough knowledge to raise them in these scary times, that my testimony is not strong enough to keep them on the right path, that I am not a good enough example, that I cannot give them everything they deserve, Oh I could go on and on. Another thing that I have recently come to realize is that parenthood is scary and hard, because there is only so much you can protect your family from and the only way to keep your family strong and on the right path is to start now with the simple things like FHE, family prayers and scripture study, and to do everything I can to be a good example and teach in His way. As a mother I want so much for my family, I want them to be happy, feel loved, feel successful, be strong and smart, and most of all find a testimony of their own.
I really can't describe the love and joy I feel constantly everyday for my family and I'm sure every mother feels this way. I just know that there is nothing more righteous and fulfilling I have ever done than to marry the love of my life in the temple, and to then become a mother. I honestly don't know how many children I will be blessed enough to have or when I will have them but I do know that I am anxious and ready to meet each one of them.
I love being a Mom! I loved experiencing labor and delivery, I loved that moment when I have gone through so much and I finally got to hold this beautiful innocent little girl I have waited so long to see, I love the first bonding moments, I love to watch Eric hold her and melt, I love the smiles that say I love you! I love the days where I can't get anything done because Oakley needs me to hold and love on her all day, I love the tears when I have to leave her, I love the messy meals and chocolate faces. I love snuggles and slobbery kisses. I love the little toots and then the looks like, "AH WHAT WAS THAT", I love the quiet times when she passes out on my chest, I love moments when I walk in the door and her face lights up, I love my little shadow that crawls behind me as I wander around the house, I love Oakley more than I thought I could love anyone in my whole life. I would not trade motherhood for anything. I will do everything in my power for her to grow up, be happy and experience motherhood her self. I love going to bed each night feeling like I have accomplished everything possible even if it was just sitting around playing with Oakley.
Yes we are some of those MEAN parents who pierced their baby's ears... But so far we don't regret it. She hardly cried and now doesn't even know they are there! Plus she looks so freaking cute with her little pink daisy ear rings :)
Check out this girls hair! haha it is growing so fast and beautiful! We really can't tell what color hair she is going to end up having though. Right now its a light brown strawberry color... some days it looks really dark and some days it looks blonde.
What a personality she has! She is the happiest little girl with a little bit of a spunky attitude. She is quite the comedian. She loves to get peoples attention and make them smile. She will do everything she can to get some smiles and giggles from whoever she is around.
