Crazy Beautiful Life

Excuse me while I ramble on...

Time goes by way too fast.. I can't believe Oakley is almost 2 and Easton is over 5 months old. Life is incredibly amazing busy crazy wonderful all at the same time. PRAY FOR ERIC! He is taking his certification test in August for Athletic training!! Until then, Eric is working in the training department at convergys and right now he is teaching a new higher class. He goes in at 2:30 everyday and gets home between 12:30 and 1 in the morning. Luckily this class only has a few more weeks and then he will teach a calss from 8-4 and get home around 5. It is really hard to have him gone so much... I miss him all the time and our time together is very valuable. We have very little time with just our family and time to our selves. I really try to focus on what is most important and that we work so hard so we can get where we want to be. I babysit Monday through Friday and right now I have 8 kids and 4 of them are babies, Easton being the oldest one. It really is not as bad as it sounds, but it keeps me very busy, and as you would probably guess very tired!! A lot of people don't understand why I would do this to myself, Eric being one of them. And I will continue to answer "because you do what you need to do to get where you want to be." I look at is as a small sacrifice I can make to help out our family. It doesn't bring in very much money, and the time I put in is almost not worth the money but it is worth it to me because I get to be home with my babies and that is the most important thing to me. I have to constantly remind my self that I can do this and all of the benefits to baby sitting, because it is hard at times and sometimes I wonder if I really can keep doing this... BUT It allows my kids to interact with other kids on a regular basis. It prepares me for my big family that I want. It helps me realize that I really can handle having the big family I want... other peoples kids are way harder than your own and I'm pretty sure mine will come one at a time and I wont get 4 babies or 4 toddlers all at the same time like I do when I'm babysitting; good point right? haha I know I'm a little bit crazy...
My favorite question that I have gotten since Easton was born and continue to get asked constantly (mostly from the people that don't know me very well) is; "how are you handling 2 so close together?" and I just have to laugh.
When it is just my two at home my house is very quiet and spotless and I get lots of things done. Oakley gets lonely because she is so used to having someone to play with, and I conmstantly forget that I only have two and start to frantically look for a missing child.
So honestly two is cake! And if you truely knew me and my love for children and my ablities with children, you probably wouldn't ask me how I do it, you probably wouldn't think I am crazy for having so many kids around, you probably wouldn't think I am so dumb for having two of my own already, and you would probably look at me like Christ does and know that I am good at this, this is my talent, this is my blessing to those around me, and this is who I am and I am proud of it. I know that I am a good mom, and I know I wont ever have to doubt it.. I am not saying I am a perfect Mom... I make lots of mistakes, and sometimes I think "man why did I react that way" "why am I not more patient" "why can't I be better at this" then I remind my self that I am only human and I am learning along with my kids, and I will get better at this. I have never been more pashionate and invested more love, care, patience, and time into anything in my whole life as I have these last 22 months being a Mom... and I will never stop as long as I live.

Like I said, excuse me for rambling on... I am thankful for the blog, it allows me to speak my mind. It also allows me to journal about my kids which I would probably never do if I didnt have the blog
:)